I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
