This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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