They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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