She's JV to your varsity
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
