in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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