you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
