this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I could fuck to npr.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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