3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
