yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
