As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
And then he peed in my hair
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