yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
