I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
