Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
