STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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