dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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