You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
