I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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