I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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