Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
True strength comes from lack of pants
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
