I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
