Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
