I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
