I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
