i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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