guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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