and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize