Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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