best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
