I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
