maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
