How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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