If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
