i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
