Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.

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(518): View more from New York

it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....

Fav 26 5798 1479
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(240): View more from Maryland

I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.

Fav 41 11927 1834
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful

Fav 4 1424 3341
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(347): View more from New York

I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1

Fav 5 2422 1254
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(909): View more from California

Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.

Fav 6 2946 1115
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(+61): View more from Australia

First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.

Fav 5 707 972
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(505): View more from New Mexico

Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you

Fav 2 926 361
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(415): View more from California

Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?

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