Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
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