Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
