Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
