I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize