They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
