you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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