I think I died a long time ago.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
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