Don't you send me to vm
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
