normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
