I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
