He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
