whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
