haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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