Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
