You don't have asthma, your pregnant
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
