the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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