This is not my ceiling
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
