Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
