If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Randomize
