i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
