and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
