your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
