Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
