I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize