He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
