Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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