Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize