Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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