don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
