hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just forgot I was standing up.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
