And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
