i need an iv and a liver transplant
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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