The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
