I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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