all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize