i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize