told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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