just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize